One Good Covid Day aka Briana Goes Out
I kept a liveJouranl for about a dozen years. Andthen I moved my writing to a private forum and without the feedback and friends I basically gave up and took to writing in journals again.
But I thought, in addition t podcast episodes that I’d just write here and talk about life as a Fat Girl. Or as I call it: life.
We live in “unprecedented time.” Again. And I am getting to the point where I can’t stand that phrase. Yes things are terrible and yes I have been sheltering the hell in place. I just mean, turn a different phrase.
Today though I wanted to share about one good day I had.
It was Wednesday. And I had to Run. An. Errand. In future times looking back this sentence will either be seen as “I don’t know what the hell this nice white lady is talking about or “OMG YOU LEFT THE HOUSE?!?!?!?!?!”
And I honestly don’t know which at this point.
But I, your heroine needed to get some horticultural oil to help put the liquid seweed fertilizer on her peach trees becasue they got the curl fungus. Yeah, I know. But I have gardening time now.
So I dutuifully put in my order in to Home Depot on Thursday and waited for the confirmation email. I got that Friday. So the following Wednesady I frantically called them to make sure they hadn’t sent my shit back. They hadn’t.
So I headed over.
First good thing: it’s sunny and there’s no traffic!
If you don’t live in the California Bay Area you might not know that driving on the 101 freeway is a crap shoot.
Yes anytime day or night you might hit traffice going anywhere for any reason. One thing the Covid has done is kill the traffic (too soon?).
I arrived with my mask and my order number. I slid into one of the curbside delivery spots and put my mask on.
The nice people got me all the things. I was in and out in less than 10 minutes. That was awesome. But the best part was seeing other humans. I am non-essential (accoutning, yo!) and anyway I’ve worked from home for 10 years.
But usually I see people. we go to lunch, I swim and work out at the gym with a group of amazing folks.
I see friends.
I run errands.
I go downtown to the movies. I sit and play games under a tree in the paprk nearby.
I walk in the woods.
I just go out and enjoy the world.
Of those things, right now I can do just one. Garden. And I, like many of you, miss the hell out of my friends.
So even seeing people calmed my anxiety.
That’s a response of the limbic brain, ie your nervous system, telling me it’s gonna be fine.
But then I hadn’t been to a store in 10 weeks.
I haven’t seen other humans in person in 8.
That length of time is killer.
From there I went to another small local garden supply to grab some starts. Lavendar, sage, (yes soon we’ll have the whole song – I already have parsley at home)!
I went there both to support local and I knew their nursery is outside and that lessens the risk of infection of Covid-19.
I put on my mask.
They had sanitized the carts as they came back and people were at least 6 feet away from each other and no one touched their faces.
A covid paradise.
I got to walk around near other humans, who were all wrapped in masks for about 15 minutes!
The sunshine on my skin, so many plants to look at and smell. I could plan something even if it is just my garden.
I could just feel the sunlight, the warmth for a moment with people. Soaking the sun into my skin, I could feel the very tip of my joy returning.
I have missed this so much
Oh and I bought hedge clippers. The good ones. Not the biggest ones, but as my love says, they finger removers.
When I got home with my haul I immediately went to town on the hedge betweenour place and the neighbor’s place. You know, the fucking overgrown thing that I’ve been looking for weeks in disgust.
I chopped the crap out of it with so much ease I almost didn’t stop. Almost.
It was sooooooo satisfying!
And then I went inside and drank and ice cold glass of water and kissed my love.
And I felt good.
Uniequivocably good. For a little while I worried about nothing. Just happiness vitamin D on my skin and chilled.
The world still exists and for a day I just felt good.
This is a rae day. I have been doing my practices and getting out to the garden. I’m privileged AF to not have to go to work in a place with other humans. And we got a blow up hot tub set up just in the nick of time!
Privilege. And I’m feeling it.
I have massive gratitude for essential folks: grocery sotre workers, deliveyr drivers, healthcare workers and all the folks out there working.
And also love to all the folks who have lost jobs and family and friends to Covid-19. It’s a lot.
Sending you tons of love!
Join us in the community! Fat Girls Finds Love FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/fatgirlfindslove/