Ep. 15: Overcoming Trauma with Leah Carey
Overcoming Trauma with Leah Carey
Overcoming Trauma with Leah Carey #15
Host of the Good Girls Talk About Sex podcast and sexual communication coach, Leah Carey is sharing her thoughts on the importance of sexual freedom and how she spent most of her life being a “very good girl.” Finding sex was boring or painful, Leah didn’t know she could ask for anything different. Listen to Leah’s journey to breaking that pattern and how she’s now passionate about breaking fear and shame for women.
Ladies, it’s time to explore what you want and deserve!
What we’re talking about
- Trauma Isn’t Always Physical
- Leah’s Journey To Sexual Freedom
- Body Positivity & Body Neutrality
Trauma Isn’t Always Physical
Growing up, Leah was told by her dad that she was fat, ugly and no one would ever love her. As she became an adult, she discovered that these were not inherent truths about herself but she couldn’t see that because she had been believing in what was said to her. As an adult, Leah believed in her brokenness in part because of the sex she had in her life which was either painful or simply not sesnsational. Leah shares that not all trauma is physical. She hadn’t been physically abused, but her memories were enough to cause trauma and create coping mechanisms that she created as a child and carried on as an adult.
Leah doesn’t do trigger warnings when it comes to her podcast or content because she feels they’re overused and don’t give the message that people are stronger than they think. Every one of us is stronger than the trauma we’ve experienced.
Leah’s Journey To Sexaul Freedom
Having little to no sexual sensation, Leah got to a place in life where she felt there should be pleasure when having sex and discovered tantric massage in which people with vaginas were able to refind sensation. She booked herself a 3 hour session and discovered that her pleasure signals were not getting to her brain, but her body, nervous system and sexual responses were all normal. She was not broken! And with that discovery, a door which had been slammed shut years before was suddenly opened back up.
Leah went on a mission to find pleasure and on a solo trip around the country, she started posting and replying to Craigslist personal ads which led to threesomes and other adventures she’d been curious about. Part of Leah’s journey involved going to Hedonism and to her surprise, she found that she fit right in and that no one had a perfect body. The people who are most attractive and sexy are those who happily inhabit their bodies. The level of sexiness of a woman has absolutely nothing to do with the size of her body and everything to do with how she inhabits her body.
Body Positivity & Body Neutrality
Briana describes what it means to be fat positive, which is being comfortable with the word “fat.” Leah comes from a sex positive Portland community in which their goal isn’t body positivity, but body neutrality. Leah shares that it’s not about fawning over our bodies, but getting to the point that we are ok with our bodies, just as we are ok with having fingernails. It’s working towards not obsessing with any part of your body or your body overall and finding accepting in what it is and does for you.
Are you 5% braver than you were last week?
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11:21 – 12:08 (47 sec) LC – No, I think it’s really important…that is not how it works.
16:43 – 17:42 (59 sec LC) there has to be more…you are not broken
- I fully believed in my brokenness because of the sex I had in my life. LC
- I don’t do trigger warnings. I think you’re stronger than the trauma you’ve experienced. LC
- You’ll go as far, as fast as you’re ready for. LC
- Not all trauma is physical. LC
- The level of sexiness of a woman has absolutely nothing to do with the size of her body and everything to do with how she inhabits her body. LC
- My goal isn’t about body positivity, it’s about body neutrality. LC
- You just need to be 5% braver than you were last week. LC
- Trigger warnings are overused because they’re not giving people the message that they’re stronger than they think. LC
Transcript coming soon!
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